Can i ever learn to accept that i am ugly? people say that beauty is only skin deep, yet they act otherwise.?

I can honestly say that me being ugly has ruined my life. I know that there are many successful people out there that are less than georgeous. But what has held me back in life is my self aware of my ugliness. i feel like a hermit, hiding from the world. scared of being rejected by society. i have held myself back from many opportunities because of this. I avoid friends and social events. I feel cursed with a hideous face. Unworthy of ever being loved. it's not in my head, people have told me i am ugly. And when I don't wear makeup, people treat me different than when I do, even though I try even harder to be likeable and nice to make up for the fact. I feel like I'm stuck in a hole of self hate. If god wanted to create me ugly, then why did he have to make me so obsessed with beauty? I truly wonder what my life would be if i was pretty. I need help badly. I either need plastic surgery or psychiatric help. all i know is that I cant go on like this.

Can i ever learn to accept that i am ugly? people say that beauty is only skin deep, yet they act otherwise.?
First of all, let me start by saying everyone has the ability to be beautiful, whether intrinsic or extrinsic. You are no different. I think you are very aware that what you say to yourself is what you are becoming. You think you are ugly so that is what the world will see. Yes, there are people who do not fit into the universal category of beauty that people like Halle Berry or Penelope Cruz are placed into, but they have their own issues as well honey. How many times have they been divorced or called unstable? Beauty is a gift and curse.


I wish I could say the world was fair and if you believe you are pretty you will be. That's not how it is and that's not God's plan for you. Don't blame God for you obsession though. That is a human imperfection. Take responsibility for that. What I do think happened, by God giving you a different exterior, is that he wanted you to explore other things and contribute to the world in a much more meaningful way. You won't attract attention because of your looks, but when you do find love or meaningful friendships, you know they will be because of your heart and people will see you for what you truly are.


There are several things I'd like to suggest:





1. Stop watching TV (certain programs) or reading about celebs. I did this and it has changed my life. Change your reference points.





2. Talk to someone. Find a therapist or counselor you can trust. Stick with them for a couple of years and really commit to self-love.





3. Invest in community service projects or a hobby a couple of times a week. Doing things that make you feel good about yourself as a person will start to change your perspective. Obsession is only fueled by idolness. Occupy your thoughts with other things.





4. Work out. Working out not only changes your body but mentally you're in a better place. It helps to relieve the anxiety or stress in your life. After a couple of weeks, you'll start to feel more positive about life.





5. Pray/Meditate. By praying you'll feel more connected to something larger than yourself. Stop being a victim and try to explore your purpose on this earth. Ask for the strength to endure another day and search for what you were put here for. Day by day, like an onion, you'll peel layers of the negativity away and get to the core of your greatness!





Good luck. You are in my prayers.
Reply:Who cares if you're ugly.It doesn't matter as long as you have face.Don't blame GOD bec we are lucky in this world to have lives.. Report It

Reply:Like me,people said that im beautiful but i always put in my mind that if i will die.My beautiness will gone and turn into a skeleton.As long as you have a nice attitude.That's all it counts Report It

Reply:while beauty is only skin deep. UGLY is to the BONE. Sorry if that seemed insensitive-it was.


There is no denying beauty in any culture. It changes its importance and definition as we mature. Good luck.
Reply:You should write to extreme make-over! : )
Reply:If beauty is only skin deep, I know some people that need skinnin'
Reply:OMG!!! I've met my twin... as the "Ugly, Fat girl who will amount to nothing in her life" I know where your coming from BIG time...I saw a psychiatrist about my problems...It really did help...it helped me to understand that beauty really is only skin deep...and even though society doesn't seem to think so it's the truth. Plastic surgery is such a far cry for help...seek professional help...you can work out your feelings and find out what truly makes you beautiful...everyone has beauty...some people just hide it more than others. Quit hiding it...find out where your true beauty lies and use it to your advantage!
Reply:oh dear. i am very sorry to hear hpw low your self esteme is. i think this is the problem, not the fact you're not attractive.





i have a friend who i thought wasn't nice looking when i first saw him. we became friends and now, 16 years later i realise he's not ugly, he's a charming, charasmatic comedian!





it's his personality that makes him very attractive. (we even dated for a while but he turned out top be gay!)





my first boyfirned wasn't "good looking" but he was very our going and confident. i found that very attractive and we dated for 5 years. he had no shortage of female admirers either!! (he looked like Mr Bean!)





you should be more worried if you are a horrible person. that can not be hidden with make up!





you need to gain some self esteme. looks are NOT everything!!





how old are you? do you have any interests, such as art, sports, cooking...something you are goods at? there must be something...find it, go to a night class or something, mix with likeminded people. you'll gain alot of confidence, see that everyone looks different, everyone has insecurities about their looks....
Reply:I think it is more mental than phisical. You should try to improve youself by getting help. You shouldn't hate yourself, on the other hand improve yourself. Try to make yourself better by changing your appearance. Start by eating healthier working out, and see how that will make you feel better, also go with a make up artis like at M.A.C they do makeovers. Change your hair style, but before you do this get a second opinion on what will look best on you, maybe a change in hair color or different hair due. I think you just might need a little help on what fits you best. You also have to learn to love yourself, don't be so hard on youself. Because if even you did get facial surgery you will feel that it's still not good enough because you have so much hate within. Try to release that seek professional help if you have to. Trust me you will feel so much better at the end. =) Cheers.
Reply:u are definately not the only one. i have a friend that insists she is ugly and some people even call her that. the truth is, the people that actually call you ugly are extremely rude and insecure about themselves. they just want to make themselves feel better. also, why are you hanging around with such horrible people? you need to make friends with people that dont care what you look like, because obviously these "friends" treat you like crap. also, if it makes you feel better, go to a store like sephora that specializes in makeup and do one of those makeovers. you'll be able to ask them what you could do about all the parts of your face you dont like. if you think you have a chubby face, they'll show you how to slim it with blush, if you have a large nose, they'll show you how to take the emphasis off that and on your eyes with sparkly shadow.


you need to crawl out of that hole and do something about it. if it means changing all your friends, then maybe thats what you need right now. the people that say that beauty is skin deep are the kind of people you should be friends with. because the people your are with now probably have never said that.
Reply:Darls, I'm sure you're not as ugly as you may it sound. You may not be a conventional beauty, but nobody in this world can be as ugly as you described. You just have to be more OPTIMISTIC. I know, that's easier said than done, but if you want to feel good, you have to tell yourself that you are going to change your attitude towards yourself. I know plenty of people whose lives suck even though they are good-looking. At the same time, I know some people who may not be conventional beauties but unique in their own facial features who are leading more fulfilling lives and having very loving relationships.


If you're feeling depressed, deal with that first.


If you don't want to wear makeup, it's fine. If some people don't like the way you look, it's still fine. You don't like them either, right? So, who cares?


If makeup gives you some self esteem the way it gives millions and millions of women all over the globe, then go ahead and wear it. But, natural is always best!
Reply:Hmm yes, people say one thing and they act the opsite! but people are subjective, and most of them dumb as hell. you wouldn't imagine what i've been told, which never came out true anyway. so stop taking care of what other people say. they are not supreme authority, they are just humans, full of flaws and preconceived ideas. the only authority is you and your head and the way you want to see yourself and your life. and i don't think you are ugly. you know the ugly swan? and yes, people react differently to you depending on how you look (i want to get into show biz, so tell me that! ). So? Who gives a **** ? Plus i know a lot of beauty tips so if you want to talk my email is gagicabulanoasa@yahoo.com. Bye girl! :*:*:*:*:(
Reply:Chances are, you're probably not as ugly as you think. What makes people ugly is their attitude. If you're less than attractive in your eyes, you should make up for it by having self confidence; not arrogance. If it makes you feel better, try talking to a plastic surgeon to see what he/she can do. It sounds like you won't like yourself even with plastic surgery. You have to love yourself first before anyone else loves you........good luck!
Reply:Great. You've heard that beauty is only skin deep yet you look in the mirror and self-proclaim you're uglier than sin. You know this because of you're "self awareness of my ugliness". Many people have the same problem and overcame it. Look at some of the hollywood stars who are ugly but with the magic of makeup, Voila!, pretty. Get yourself out of that Quasimodo mood and do something about it. Your ego will appreciate it.
Reply:God created you the way he thought you should be made. It is inconsiderate to not enjoy your unique and special self. It makes you individual; it makes you YOURSELF.


I'm sorry to hear that your self esteem is very low, and that you are torturing yourself by thinking you are ugly. I am sure you are not. Many people call me beautiful, but I always think I am not. Why is this? Many people doubt themselves. Some of them are compliment fishers. And some have absolutely nothing to complain about.


Now, if people are going to judge you by your looks in the first place, I think that they have a lot more to worry about than what you look like. It's hateful and rude. Those people that called you ugly have ugly personalities. Whether or not their faces look like the face of a model doesn't matter. Eventually, people will get to know them. Their so-called beauty will be ignored and their rude personalities will show. Ignore these people - hard as it may seem, you must try.





Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. Write down ALL of your good traits, and do not write down any of the traits you do not like. For example if you are a good artist, or writer, jot that down. If you have good problem solving skills, write that down. If you are better at math than anyone you know, write it down! Once you get thinking about your better traits, you will forget about the ones you do not like as much.





Stop thinking 'I'm ugly'. People with negative attitudes like that will eventually become that way - you are what you think you are, and if people know that you think you're ugly, they will not feel comfortable or happy around you. If you continue to say 'I'm ugly', people will not want to be around you. People prefer positive, upbeat people, not negative people who enjoy putting themselves down.





If you can only look at yourself and feel ugly, and not concentrate on anything else, you must need a little more help than a forum can give you. Try talking to a family member, friend, teacher or counselor. You need to zap out of this phase, and fast.





Good luck! *hugs*
Reply:u no i think if it boosts your confidence then yes u should look into plastics
Reply:I know it sounds pretty chessy and ordinary to say, but everyone goes through that phase when you dont feel great about yourself. For some people, it is not even a phase. For some people, they probably went through their whole life not feeling great about themselves. Even I am having an extrememly hard time looking at myself in a mirror. Honestly, we cant just sit around and mourn and feel sorry for ourselves. I mean, you have to take action in order to make yourself feel better. There is only one person that truly knows you and its you. If you cant make yourself happy and love yourself for who you are, then nothing else is going to work. Not even plastic surgery. Because when the time comes around, and you have plastic surgery..yeah you will feel great about the way you look. But your brain and your heart is what really counts. You have to work on the inside then out. There is a whole world out there...hold tight.
Reply:it matters not what other people think only how you think. i have met some people that have been so ugly on the inside that it didn't matter how goodlooking society would have said they are on the outside. outside beauty does not make who you are, your character or your worth. you alone decide that by how you feel. all my life i have been insecure and i now see how negatively it affected my life. if i could go back and do over knowing what i know now i would be alot more confident and happy and secure about who i am. i still am by no means perfect but i could have positively worked on areas of change and at the same time been proud of who i was despite the flaws. people in your life come and go only yourself is who you are with forever. so love yourself. we are all god's children.
Reply:being ugly is choice. If you try hard enough, you can at least be average. Buy the best clothes, wear the best the makeup, and take care of your skin. Loose weight, take care of you're hair, wear nice jewelry. You may not be beautiful, but if you try hard enough you'll be at least average looking. If you're still uncomfortable all this, then just get plastic surgery. With everything out there (including surgery) being ugly is a choice people have made.
Reply:Stop fishing for compliments.

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